Personal Reflections on 2020

I write this knowing that it will likely get lost in the innumerable texts that thousands will write upon this year, for – as goes without saying – 2020 has been very unusual. My final blog post of 2019 looked back upon my time as a PhD student, and I concluded that particular post with the following words:

“As we approach the end of the year, I’m looking forward to what’s coming for the genre in 2020, and even more so, I’m looking forward to the next stages of my own academic electro swing career.”

Little did I know how disruptive 2020 would actually be. The Covid-19 pandemic has infiltrated every aspect of everyday life, and has had a severe impact on essentially everything that this year was expected to bring. The world of music in particular has suffered greatly, and thousands of those throughout the creative industries have lost their livelihoods. From my own personal perspective, this year has been distinctly challenging, as 2020 was supposed to mark the start of my formal academic career. Entering into an already competitive career – in a year in which many are losing jobs – has undoubtedly been an immense struggle, and I’ve spent effectively the entire year on the job-hunt, only securing myself a permanent position in the past few weeks. And I recognise that even by this, I’m one of the lucky ones. This post is going to be somewhat challenging to write, being less of a piece with recognisable flow, and more of a collection of ideas representing my thoughts on 2020. I hope that my own particular situation makes this at least a little unique, and that my words may stand amongst some of the more memorable reflections upon this year.

I know I speak for a lot of people when I say that one of the greatest joys in life is experiencing live music. This is without a doubt the thing that I miss most about normal life, having only been to a grand total of three gigs this year – the most recent being in February, making it almost a full year since the last time I got to enjoy a proper concert. For the sake of interest, those three were the Interrupters, the Inspector Cluzo, and the Hot 8 Brass Band; the last time I went to this few gigs in one year was 2005 – when I would have been 12 years old. The Interrupters stand out as the finest, putting on an absolutely fantastic show, and demonstrating themselves to be one of the genuinely best acts of the modern day. But the thrill of live music is just something that cannot be replaced. The various livestreams that have been broadcast throughout this year have of course been admirable – and I was especially generous with my praise to the Swingamajig livestreamed festival in May – but it’s incomparable to the real thing. My main wish for 2021 is the return of live music, and I know that I’ll be buying as many tickets as I can as soon as we have some confirmation of events actually going ahead.

Of these events, the big question is whether we’ll see the return of festivals in 2021. Indeed, I’ve already mentioned Swingamajig, and I had plans to attend Boomtown, Shindig, and the Edinburgh Fringe as well this year – all of which were of course cancelled. The Glastonbury line-up was also looking excellent, and I’d been hoping I might be able to find a way to make this my first year. For 2021, both Boomtown and Shindig are suggesting that they will be going ahead, and have already begun advertising line-ups and selling tickets, so we can only hope that all will be well by the time that festival season rolls around. There’s nothing better than being in a huge gathering of thousands of music fans, all spending a weekend doing nothing more than enjoying themselves to the fullest extent.

Unfortunately, the cancellation of such festivals and gigs – and the loss of opportunity for so many creatives – hasn’t been the only thing to bring down the music scene in 2020. Of the lucky few who have managed to sustain careers, there’s been several cases of high-profile musicians demonstrating themselves to be incredibly selfish and ungrateful with regard to the year’s lockdown restrictions. In some extremely disheartening cases, these have been musicians who have made amazing art throughout their careers, and it’s unbelievably disappointing to see such nonsense coming out of individuals who we know are capable of such great things. These include Eric Clapton, Van Morrison (seemingly an endless disappointment), Ian Brown, and Noel Gallagher. And this idiotic behaviour has been shown from punters as well, with dozens of illegal raves cropping up throughout the year. The most illogical thing I’ve seen with regard to this is online commentators favourably comparing this string of illegal raves to the original events that occurred throughout the late ’80s and ’90s, as if governmental discrimination of ravers can at all be likened to a global pandemic. Here’s the thing that these people don’t seem to understand: the more these events go ahead, the more the virus will spread, the longer these artists will go without work, and the longer it will be before we can ever hold events like this again.

Luckily, my other world – that of academia – has been a lot more responsible in its response to the pandemic. Having had countless conferences worldwide move to an online format, not only is this safer for everyone involved, but also allows for many to attend who might otherwise not have been able to travel. These were of course the upsides, though of course – like the livestreamed gigs – such online conferences were undoubtedly not always quite as stimulating as they would usually be, and I must confess that I didn’t attend as many as I would have perhaps liked to. I’m optimistically looking forward to the potential return of conventional conferences this coming year, and have already applied to present at several. One of the best parts of this profession is meeting and sharing your research with others who are genuinely interested in what you have to say, and it’s been a real shame that such opportunities have been made impossible.

And speaking of this profession brings me to what has been one of the most challenging aspects of the year for myself – the aforementioned job-hunt. Having completed my PhD last year, the entirety of 2020 has been spent on the hunt for suitable employment that I’m actually qualified for. And saying that this has been difficult would be an incredible understatement – I may end up writing an entire post relaying my own experiences, as the entire process has been an enormous eye-opener with regard to how laborious and demoralising it can be. I don’t know if I’ll ever come across another sentence as infuriating as “we are unable to offer you feedback at this stage”. After committing what can regularly amount to several hours to an application – to have a faceless email informing you that you won’t be given even a single bit of their time regarding future advice, is one of the most insulting things a company can do. We’re all well aware that that sentence effectively translates to “we didn’t bother reading your application”, and – again, whilst I may save this full story for another post – I came to realise just how nepotistic and self-serving some institutions (read: Cardiff University) can be. I don’t want to end this post on a low note though, and as stated, I was incredibly fortunate to get myself a new position in the final month of the year – learning support coordinator at BIMM Bristol – which is an absolutely fantastic institution. With this in place, 2021 is due to be a colossal improvement for me – and I really do hope that others in similar situations will experience the same level of good fortune.

So it’s been a rollercoaster of a year – with more negatives than one could ever hope for, but with hope on the horizon – both for me personally, and for the world, with the introduction of these various vaccines. Without doubt, I know that I’ll be getting mine as soon as I possibly can. There’s presumably no way that 2021 can be as disastrous as 2020, so ultimately, we can only be optimistic. I’ll leave by simply wishing everyone a wonderful new year, and I look forward to the day when we will all be able to come together at gigs, festivals, conferences, and more again.